


God, this is all there is

by voices_in_my_head



Category: Fantastic Four (2015)
Genre: 52 weeks challenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-17
Updated: 2016-05-17
Packaged: 2018-06-09 02:03:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6884779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/voices_in_my_head/pseuds/voices_in_my_head
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"You don’t know how much time has passed. You’re underground and no one tells you anything. Reed is gone and you’re a rock and right now you don’t know what hurts the most."</p>
            </blockquote>





	God, this is all there is

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt for this week was: a story written in 2nd person narrative. I've never done it before, but I can't say it wasn't fun and I have all the feels for Ben Grimm.

You don’t know how much time has passed. You’re underground and no one tells you anything. Reed is gone and you’re a rock and right now you don’t know what hurts the most. You spend most time wishing you hadn’t taken the call, that the phone had simply died that night. Hell, sometimes you wish you’d told Reed to fuck off all those years ago when he’d first showed up at the junk yard.

You don’t need to eat, or drink or shit, but you do sleep, thank God. You think you would have gone mad by now if you had to stay awake all hours of the day. Though going to sleep has its bad point too, such as waking up. There are those blissful seconds every morning where you don’t remember where you are, where you think, “why hasn’t mom woken me up?” or “at what time does my shift start?” and then you remember, but your body physically cannot cry and you want to break something.

So you break several somethings and that’s probably why people keep away from you but right now you don’t care. These walls are made of something strong, but one punch of yours and they break like they’re paper. Part of you is proud of that. You’re not a very strong guy. You’ve never gotten into fights simply because you’d always copied your brother’s look of, “come closer and I’ll fuck you up” and people never wanted to see if you could follow through with it or not. You couldn’t. Reed probably packs a stronger punch than you. Bam; another one breaks the wall. He used to pack stronger punches than you, he also used to not be a backstabbing asshole so really, things have changed.

People keep on not telling you anything, but finally they start to visit you. You get to meet the Storms, the doctor and his two special kids: the invisible girl and the fire boy. You’d heard about them over the phone and Skype conversations so you know they’re good people. Unfortunately, you’re not in the mind-set to give a fuck about any of that. Johnny thinks this is the best thing ever and why wouldn’t he? He controls fire and most importantly, he can choose to not be on fucking fire every single second of the day. Sue is a bit better; she wants to go back to normal about as much as you do but she also clearly didn’t pick the short straw so it takes you several days to be able to stand in the same room with her and actually have a conversation that doesn’t involve grunting. It helps that she doesn’t look at you like you’re a freak, even though you so clearly are.

You can’t help anyone with the science stuff. It’s never been your thing. You’re smart, but not that smart. You understand practical stuff; if they want someone to pick stuff up and put them some place you’re their guy, especially now, but that’s about it. Sue still rambles about Zero world and turning their molecules back to normal but by this point you think she does it just because you’re the only one listening and maybe because she doesn’t want to lose hope either.

You really, really don’t want to lose hope because you were never gonna become president, but you liked your life. It was simple and it involved working at a coffee shop at the same time as the junk yard and thinking of whether it was worth being indebted to your ears to go to college and maybe asking the cute girl that kept coming around the shop out and it wasn’t a special life, but it was yours and you had liked it just as it was.

You used to imagine getting married and having kids. You were going to be like your mom, not taking anyone’s shit, especially your kids’, but you would be kind like she was too. You miss your mom, miss hugging her and you hate yourself for thinking that you might never do that again because who wants a rock for a son?

They let you talk to her a couple time. You tell her you’re helping Reed with her project and that the machines have dust or some bullshit like that and that’s why your voice sounds different.

“Be careful,” she ends every call with and you want to cry but of course you can’t so you either break things or go to Sue, who’s becoming a good friend.

She doesn’t talk about Reed, or Victor, the guy who’d died on the mission and you’d understood weeks before that the two of them seemed to have a thing, but you don’t pry. You never pry. You don’t see the point in asking questions people clearly don’t want to answer. If she wants to talk, you’re there, but you’re pretty much okay with silence too.

“We’re going to be okay,” Sue tells you once in a while, and you start to count the days in between, trying to find a pattern, seeing if she’s giving up, except she still says it every four days and you think she knows what you’re doing and you remember Reed telling you about how she’d talked about patterns in the library and you’d mocked him when he’d told you she’d said he wanted to be famous, because he should have gone to film school, then.

You try not to think about Reed. Hell, you try not to think about the outside world. Your mom told you you’d been fired, which you completely understood, and you’ve never had many friends, not close ones, anyway, so there aren’t many people to miss you.

Pretending the outside world doesn’t exist becomes easy. After all, you all live in a secret government compound. The world could end and you probably wouldn’t know though if you’re being honest, you’d be sad about that because right now, if the world’s ending you want to be right there with it.

Guys in military suits come and they make you an offer. You say yes. Hell, you don’t even have to think about it. Last year, when high school had been about to end, you’d thought of joining the army. It was steady income and you’d get to see some of the world and maybe get some education, but in the end you’d decided it wasn’t for you, simply signing your life away, fighting a war you probably didn’t understand.

But you say yes then. They knew you would, or they wouldn’t have gone to you first. It’s not just that you want out of the compound, it’s also that slowly you’re starting to realize that this is your life from now on. You still have hope that there’s a way to change it, but for now this is it and you’re still angry at Reed, at World Zero, at yourself, but you’ve never been the sort of person to just give up. This isn’t the life you wanted, but it’s the one you have and your mom always said that God had a plan for everyone and if this is His plan it’s a pretty bad one, but for now you’ll go with it. Anyway, not many better things to do.

“I’m going to miss you,” Sue tells you after you tell her you’re leaving and you want to hug her but you haven’t touched anything in the last few months if it wasn’t to destroy so you settle for a smile, even though you can’t really feel the muscles.

You go overseas and you fight and you win and it feels good but you don’t have a team. The guys look at you like you’re a freak and it takes you several days to remember where you’d seen the look before: from high school’s kids’ eyes being directed at Reed.

You become a soldier and they thank you for your service and this is your life now. It’s not the one you wanted but it’s the one you have and your mom always told you God had a plan.

 


End file.
